When you’re young you’re told of magic, myths, and miracles. You’re made to believe, to wonder about what’s out there, what’s real. It’s like a set up, or a trap, only it’s meant to make us want to discover. We’re told there are doors that will open into new worlds, realities that fulfill our wildest dreams. We can live however we want, be whoever we want.
Growing up, I had no idea about what I wanted or who I wanted to be. First I wanted to play lacrosse, then I wanted to do math, then I wanted to run fast, finally I just played music. I think about how I might have answered the question of what I wanted to “do”, and how wildly different it is from what I’m doing today. Sure I was always a skier, but to think that I’d give up my summers, that I’d be alpine skiing 200+ days a year, I wouldn’t believe it.
I had no clue this existed, but I suppose people were trying to show me all along. It was never explicit, this option I found, but I guess it was hinted at in more ways than one. Sure, you can open the door that leads to a world of only winter. A world where jagged, snow and ice covered mountains pierce into the sky. Where you can run and play like a careless child in this imposing playground.
What they didn’t tell you is everything you’ll give up, all the hardships you’ll encounter. They didn’t tell you it will be dark, cold and wet. They didn’t tell you the only way to get to the top of the mountain is to claw your way up. They didn’t tell you you’ll never see your family, that friendships will wither, that every six months your roots are pulled out of the Earth.
There are concessions, to every life we choose. It’s our decision how we want to live, and our responsibility to balance it into something healthy for those around us. Devotion to what we want will only get us so far. Understanding and compassion for those around us will get us farther.
I have no idea what I’ll find in this world, or how long I’ll live here before returning to “reality”, or at least something different. I do know that as long as I’m here I’ll continue to feel an increasingly deep gratefulness for the beauty, grandeur and fragility of this amazing world.
